Hi all as promised are the nicknames of the players given by me to make the reports a little bit more interesting and witty,( Stop yawning already and read on)
It is only fair to start with the Capt
– Jon Armstrong – aka:::::: Capt Nemo (me, yours truly, yorkie) so called because when I throw a dart, apparently I do a gold fish impression not unlike nemo the clown fish from disney ie I open and close my mouth when throwing.
Stuart Cameron – AKA Showboat – so called because during one match he needed double 6 (12 score) but he got confused and threw 2 darts at double 12, when advised he needed double 6 he promptly adjusted and threw the next dart in the middle of the double 6 bed! which when you consider that double 12 is on the left hand at about 10 o’clock whilst 6 is on the right hand side at 3 o’clock.
John Davies – AKA Fat Fingers – those who have seen our electronic scoreboard will know that the keys are of a similar size to a computer keyboard but with a little more space between the keys, however, fat fingers whilst scoring in a game only proceeds to get the score wrong, not once, not twice, but three times in one game !!
Andy Bradley – AKA – Centurion, not because he likes to wear a red mini skirt and sandals on weekend (i have seen photos and its not pretty) but because he took over 100 wickets last season in cricket
Jon 0′ Connor -AKA – Dessie , not because he has the style and speed of the famous grey horse dessie orchid but tis due to historically reasons from the cricket section – he is like des o’ connor? – if anyone can expand on this i would be interested to know. His favorite double is double 1!!
Nick Carter – AKA – baby face assassin – not because he is like billy the kid and shoots people – but when we played the New Bay the landlady thought he had a cute little baby face, but murdered people on the darts board.
Chris Williams AKA – Hastings so called because when he throws for the double he uses more arrows than were shot or fired at the battle of hastings in other words he takes forever!!!
Brian Hearne – AKA – Ernie the slowest taxi driver in the east – again dont know why it came from the cricket section.
Paul Winter – AKA Paul The Pro – he is an ex county darts player and looks the business on the board, a real pleasure to watch, when he turns up!
Pat Carter (nicks mum) AKA – no name as yet – it could be pat the prop, not for her rugby skills but for the way she props up the bar, both sides! or postie pat since she works with children and postman pat is a popular character with kids – i let you the readers decide.
Ted Birtwistle AKA – Big Ted – no imagination here, he’s called Ted and is quite tall, looks nothing like big Ted from play school days (those who are old enough to remember it)
Bob Hinchcliffe – AKA Even bigger BOB – after one match report Bob approached me and stated in no uncertain terms he was “bigger” than TED, to this day I have no idea what he meant, i can only assume he was referring to the size of his……………………………… …………………. Shoes!! (what did you think i was going to write?, you should be ashamed of yourselves)
John Haslam – AKA – The Hammer – another historical name given by the cricket section and is a play on his name, though i think it is more to with the way he hammers his opponents into submission because he takes longer than someone who takes a long time! whilst playing doms.
Trevour Williams AKA – Trapper – this was a typo in a report and the computer amended it to trapper, though i like to think it is because of the way he lures his opponents into a false sense of security and pounces once he has them trapped, but that is only fantasy and so a lie.
Carol Bradley – AKA – classy Carol, simply because she always looks a million dollars makes a big effort and oozes class, its a shame Phil does not share her style.
Phil Bradley AKA – Phil Cool – dont really know why, other than he reminded me a bit ( a very tiny bit) of phil cool the comedian or because he is always laid back and nothing bothers him.
Wendy cameron – AKA – Wonderful Wendy – no other reason than she has been married to Showboat for what would feel like forever and still puts up with him. Not that I am suggesting they should get a divorce or anything – just for the record
Last but no means least are the two delightful dinner ladies in viv micolwathizzzicrth (what ever) & Helen Hinchcliffe
If anyone has any different views would welcome the input, next mon 7th we are at home against unsworth social
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